Expectations

An interesting interaction between my Owner and I prompted this assignment...

I had been thinking about something naughty and hinting at this fact to Syr. Usually if She realizes that I am thinking about something 'interesting', She would prompt me to tell Her all about it, often times exerting at least a bit of Her authority to do so. What I wasn't actively thinking about was that I had actually painted a mental picture of how She would respond to my naughty reminiscing.

And while She responded with interest to the fact that I was thinking about something naughty, She did not respond in the precise way I had imagined (read: expected) that She would and I foolishly let my disappointment show.

Syr called me on it in a flash. I'd laid the ground work to 'get' a particular reaction. That could be called manipulation, micro-management, or setting Her up. There was no malicious intent, but I do adore the feeling of being 'made' to admit what is on my mind. I was just in the mood for that sort of interaction and so in a way I was trying to make it happen.

In doing this, I managed to trap my Owner in a rock/hard place situation. She could either cave and do what I was setting Her up to do - or She could not and then She deals with my disappointment or hurt feelings. Unfair.

She handled it well. She called me on it and I employed that whole listening thing to hear Her point of view and all points were valid. I wanted something and, whether intentional or not, tried to "make" Syr give it to me. Hm. Counter-productive, much? I think so!

Lesson learned. Syr reminded me that I need to work harder at not being so invested in a particular (and very specific) outcome when I act. This is such a healthy reminder in all areas of my life. I like, to some degree, knowing what to expect - there is an element of control to that - and so I try to do things to make sure I know what to expect.

The interesting thing is, that I often have the most wonderful time, the most REAL experiences when I let go of that, trust and just open up to whatever is going to happen. That is where the magic happens - not in the planning but in the humanity of the experience.

Ahh, the unknown. It can be sexy too.