Thursday, July 11, 2013
Lately I've been staying on top of the things that I know my Owner likes and providing them (usually) without reminders. I know I'm not perfect at it, but it's still really nice to see continuous (positive) progress!
Friday, July 05, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
I have a bunch of excuses in my head about how busy I am but I also need to remember that Syr used to appreciate even just a three-sentence daily post, so I really don't have any excuses. How long does a few sentences take? Not much. And writing here is an excellent anchor for my service so I need to get better at this, for real.
So, how have things been going lately? I'd say up and down. I've been learning some hard lessons recently when it comes to communicating with Syr. It's often hard. I have so many unhealthy/dysfunctional habits particularly around communication and behaviour when there is tension that I really feel like each time I get better at one, I find three more in it's place that I need to address. But, that's just part of how this works. It's in layers.
Anyway, recently, we've had a couple of arguments caused by my not shutting up or not listening when I needed to. I know that these arguments have been much shorter-lived than a similar argument may have been a few years ago. So that is a clear marker of improvement. But there are things i need to work harder on.
One thing we identified recently is my behaviour when I sense any annoyance or frustration on Syr's part. I always ask "what's wrong?" but the second She tells me, I try to explain, defend it away - dismissing it (essentially). Interestingly, we identified that my drive to ask the question comes from a dysfunctional background, as does my compulsion to "make it go away". Without going into intense details about my background, let's just say it never ever occurred to me that She wouldn't always WANT me to ask what's wrong. But what She explained is sometimes She gets annoyed or whatever and just needs a moment or two to move on. That was a totally novel concept to me. And I think should help take the pressure off asking all the time. Because if I'm not prepared to hear and honour the answer, I shouldn't ask the question right? Right. I also need to work on how I handle the answer when I DO ask so it's a two part process, but it felt like progress to identify this particular issue. :) So I'm happy about that.
Service wise, I'm still enjoying keeping the house clean for Syr. :) It's become something that I take a lot of pride in. Something as small as making sure the ceiling fans get dusted every day gives me this great feeling as a slave.
So yes, while there are challenging hard things we're working on, there is also still a solid foundation of a true desire to be the best and healthiest me I can be - for my Owner AND my own sake. And that helps drive everything and is what gets me/us through the harder things.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
A lot has changed in my day to day life.
To begin with, I no longer have a standard 9-5 type job. I'm actually still pretty busy with my own business, however not being gone for the standard 9-5 has opened up a world of possibilities when it comes to my service and how I feel as a slave.
It's only the second week of this new life and I'm looking around and very proud of the levels of service I've been able to provide. Pets are cared for. The bird has a clean cage and lots of social time. The dog is getting her meals and playtime. And the house is clean. I'm getting into a daily routine of kitchen, laundry, bathroom, floors, dusting, the whole nine yards. And I'm loving it.
What's so amazing about that is that it seems like it wasn't that long ago when domestic service was a hard limit. But it's different, now, and the relationship and lifestyle is totally different. Serving my Owner is a true pleasure. I feel so good knowing that She is coming home from work to a clean house where all those pesky little chores are done. I love that I can pack Her lunch and make Her tea in the morning and set Her up to have the best day possible... all while pursuing my own personal business goals and dreams, too.
It's pretty amazing stuff.
I'm just feeling so super grateful.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
There is definitely payoff. Nothing beats the look on my Owner's face when I kneel, unprompted at Her feet because I can see that would please Her in the moment. Nothing is more satisfactory than the special small smile that is just for me when I bring Her a carefully prepared beverage and give it to Her with service in my heart and on my mind. There is an electrical charge to everything I do when I do it from a service heart and it is amazing to see it unfold.
Yes, I have good days and not so good days. I still have a lot of work to do. But it is becoming a daily practice unbidden now and that is still relatively new in the grand scheme of things.
There are a lot of little things my Owner does to maintain the D/s between us.... little things that sometimes get taken for granted. I want to do my part as well because who She is to me is important and meaningful.
The longer I am Hers, the more I realize that it is these small moments, added up that create the robustness of who we are to one another, rather than just the bursts of intensity and raw moments alone.
I am sleepy, but I will be going to bed with thoughts of gratitude on my mind.
Monday, April 01, 2013
Last weekend was a long weekend and I had the great pleasure to get a great deal of quality time with my Owner. She and I ran errands, talked, gamed, bonded, and cuddled.
And we also had a rare evening of complete privacy which we took FULL advantage of.
That morning, I'd brought Syr the steel and leather cuff to wear on Her wrist while we did some running around. The cuff is our silent signal that I'd like to be held to higher protocol than usual.. It was more a reminder to myself to remember to call Her Syr as much as possible, whenever realistic.... and I love the grin She gives me when I bring it to Her. I enjoyed that all day long.
To top it off, Syr had worn her tight-fitting button fly jeans, all day long... with a snug black tee shirt all tucked in. Commando. Just those jeans hugging Her sexy ass. I could barely keep my hands off her! And well, I didn't entirely *wicked grin*. So, when we found out later that we were going to have the house all to ourselves for at least a few hours, I couldn't drag Her into the bedroom fast enough.
"are You taking requests, Syr?" , I asked Her, thinking of that thing She does with the wevibe, Her fingers, and thumb... but I also wanted Her cock. Such a greedy grrl I am.
"No." She responded without hesitation. "You'll take what You get, little girl."
The perfect response. I shivered. She always knew what I needed and this was no exception. I was naked in a heartbeat and watching Her prepare. She strapped on Ripper, and then... pulled those gorgeous button fly's back up.
There is something about Her having any clothing on or even lots of clothing on while I am naked beneath Her. It makes me feel more vulnerable ... more taken somehow. And with those buttonflys.... well, even hotter.
She didn't waste any time, it was a breath maybe two and She was inside me and my fingers were wrapped into Her belt loops pulling Her tighter. Damn.
To say that She drove me to utter distraction and abandon after that is an understatement. And at some point, though I can't remember if it was before or after the buttonfly+Ripper action, She did ask what my request would have been.... and I admitted it. Later, after I thought I was wrung out pretty well, She obliged......
When I regained consciousness........ I had been turned completely inside out. And it was divine.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Lately, those little things have really been adding up. I've been keeping up on my chores, even the little ones that used to be so easy to forget. I've been able to anticipate Her needs much better than I ever have before, and I feel more grounded and rooted in my submission and She seems much more confident in Her Dominance.
Talk about a win-win!