Thursday, August 21, 2014

Privacy... and soon.

The countdown is on until we are finally living alone - just the two of us.

Next Wednesday night though the evening itself is pretty busy so I doubt we'll do more than sleep when I finally get home.

But yesterday and today, Syr and I have exchanged several moments. Certainly the idea of our upcoming new (permanent) privacy is giving us our mojo back. I can't even imagine what it will be like to know that Syr can assert Her ownership at any time of the day, without warning - and in whatever manner She chooses.

It's both thrilling and reassuring to know that there need not be any censorship, nor mincing of words out of concern for how we might be overheard - or misinterpreted. Which means a lot more freedom and space to breathe in our regular day to day interactions.

The possibilities are endless....

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

3 Sentences

Today I didn't get a lot of time with my Owner....

but I was grateful that I had an opportunity to make Her a tea, something I'd been missing these last few mornings.

And I'm grateful that I got to refer to Her as Syr - because circumstances have made protocol difficult or unrealistic for the past week or more...

And I'm grateful that very, very soon it will just be the two of us living alone - and things will shift yet again - and I am looking forward to that privacy and the ability to manifest and integrate!

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Gratitude... yes, again

Today, I was humbled when Syr pointed out to me that I hadn't been giving Her my full attention - far from it - and then later when I realized that pretty much all of the stuff that is uncomfortable for me - or takes me outside what i feel ready for is geared to further my own best interests.

In other words, Syr is constantly pushing me outside the linear path because it is one of the ways She works so hard to make my (and our) dreams come true. Sometimes it's hard to recognize because part of me still is worried it will all fall out from under me. But when I get locked up in that fear, I'm really just throwing eggshells down at my own feet.

So today I'm grateful for the push. Grateful for being given opportunities to explore possibilities - no matter how wild and crazy they might seem - because exploring possibilities is the ONLY reason I am where I am in my life right now, and without the constant pressure to step outside my comfort zone, it never would have happened.

So it stands to reason that to maintain this awesomeness - and to grow it into something sustainable, lots of "being outside my comfort zone" is necessary. In fact that is probably all it's going to be for a while.

Need to continue to work hard on faith and trust - particularly in the unknown.

3 Sentences of gratitude

I'm grateful for my Owner's involvement and support in all areas of my life.

I am grateful for the opportunity to pursue my dreams, even (especially?) when those dreams push me beyond the limits of what I think I'm comfortable with or ready for.

I am grateful for a warm bed at night and strong arms that hold me.


Sunday, July 27, 2014

3 Sentences

I love my Owner.

I'm grateful for my Owner.

I feel safe with my Owner.

Friday, July 25, 2014

3 Sentences

Looking forward to the surprise trip my Owner is taking me on - and opportunities to connect and have some protocol and D/s and Daddy/girl time without interruption or lack of privacy.

Had moments today where I felt grateful for having the time and opportunity to serve my Owner's tea again (on my knees, properly) and other small moments of day to day loveliness.

And finally, I am about to go to bed and request the sleeping collar for the first time in a few weeks thanks to training and scheduling craziness and I'm VERY much looking forward to that.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Thoughts

Recently after some big ah ha moments with my Owner, She decided to give me a circular series of writing tasks - topics that repeat and this has taken the majority of my writing focus lately. Because the work is more stream of consciousness, it's written for Her eyes only and I haven't been posting it here. But I realized that it's nice sometimes just to note the little moments too...

So here I am.

Remembering that being in this relationship, this marriage - and this dynamic takes constant attention, mindfulness, and dedication. Sometimes those things slip - and when they do, they need a little kick in the ass. But lately I feel like I've been doing the kicking when it needs it so that it's not just Syr having to do it, which feels like growth and healthy and stuff. :) So there's that.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Moments

Getting ready to go out to run errands with Syr, we were in the bedroom getting dressed, being playful. Then She seized the moment... Held me close and paddled my bottom with the small wooden sign paddle She keeps on the dresser.

"Who owns you?" She asks.
"You do, Syr." I whimper
"My slave. My slut. My whore." Every word punctuated with a soft smack of the paddle.

Starting our afternoon together on the right note. Feeling contained. Feeling loved.