Tuesday, July 29, 2014
In other words, Syr is constantly pushing me outside the linear path because it is one of the ways She works so hard to make my (and our) dreams come true. Sometimes it's hard to recognize because part of me still is worried it will all fall out from under me. But when I get locked up in that fear, I'm really just throwing eggshells down at my own feet.
So today I'm grateful for the push. Grateful for being given opportunities to explore possibilities - no matter how wild and crazy they might seem - because exploring possibilities is the ONLY reason I am where I am in my life right now, and without the constant pressure to step outside my comfort zone, it never would have happened.
So it stands to reason that to maintain this awesomeness - and to grow it into something sustainable, lots of "being outside my comfort zone" is necessary. In fact that is probably all it's going to be for a while.
Need to continue to work hard on faith and trust - particularly in the unknown.
I am grateful for the opportunity to pursue my dreams, even (especially?) when those dreams push me beyond the limits of what I think I'm comfortable with or ready for.
I am grateful for a warm bed at night and strong arms that hold me.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Friday, July 25, 2014
Had moments today where I felt grateful for having the time and opportunity to serve my Owner's tea again (on my knees, properly) and other small moments of day to day loveliness.
And finally, I am about to go to bed and request the sleeping collar for the first time in a few weeks thanks to training and scheduling craziness and I'm VERY much looking forward to that.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
So here I am.
Remembering that being in this relationship, this marriage - and this dynamic takes constant attention, mindfulness, and dedication. Sometimes those things slip - and when they do, they need a little kick in the ass. But lately I feel like I've been doing the kicking when it needs it so that it's not just Syr having to do it, which feels like growth and healthy and stuff. :) So there's that.
Monday, June 16, 2014
Getting ready to go out to run errands with Syr, we were in the bedroom getting dressed, being playful. Then She seized the moment... Held me close and paddled my bottom with the small wooden sign paddle She keeps on the dresser.
"Who owns you?" She asks.
"You do, Syr." I whimper
"My slave. My slut. My whore." Every word punctuated with a soft smack of the paddle.
Starting our afternoon together on the right note. Feeling contained. Feeling loved.