I have decided to start 'victory' lists. One nilla, and one kinky. This here, is the home of the kinky one. I'm calling it my "Good Girl" list.
Starting now, I will keep a running tally of the things I do that make me feel like I've been a good girl, a good slave for my Syr. Each time I think of one, or Syr notices something that even I didn't, I'll add it to the list. It's a bit of personal positive encouragement for me. :)
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My Good Girl List
4/15/08: I remembered to do my Yoga and I kept track of my food while at work.
4/15/08: I picked up a special lunch for Syr to take to work and surprised Her with it (Her own mini baguette and wedge of brie)
4/16/08: I remembered to do my Yoga and I kept track of my food while at work.
4/16/08: I sent Syr a text message that said "I love You, Syr." while at work.
4/17/08: I remembered to do my Yoga and I kept track of my food while at work.
4/17/08: Planned a beautiful meal for Syr and texted Her to tell Her I had a lovely dinner planned: "I have a lovely dinner planned for You, my Owner". *shiver-purr*
4/18/08: I remembered an assignment Syr had given me last night, and in spite of some big stuff that took up a lot of my energy, I completed my assignment first, because it was important to me to prioritize it.
4/18/08: I counted all my points and planned a healthy, tasty, dinner that I know Syr will LOVE.
4/18/08: When Syr gave me a punishment, I trusted it and prioritized it, working on it right away and not trying to put it off.
4/19/08: When Syr did a 'trust game' with me, I surrendered to the moment, relaxed, and trusted Her to lead me.
4/20/08: I kept track of my foods/points all weekend long.
1 comment:
thinking of you. i can relate like crazy to the scenario you described. as you might remember, i've been forbidden from throwing things, which is my childish acting-out of choice. it's really hard to curb that kind of habit, especially because the feelings go so deep.
be gentle with yourself, and with your syr. i know that you are safe with her and that regardless of what she decides, your actions and feelings are more than forgivable.
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