It seemed like everything was going wrong all around me and I was just scrambling to keep up, totally powerless to actually fix anything that was broken. I was frustrated, and REALLY grumpy.
I knew I was in a bad mood, so I was trying to shake it off during the drive home, coaching myself on how NOT to take it out on Syr in light of my bad habit of subconsciously picking fights with my Owner when I'm feeling bad about something else. If I'm being consciously aware and trying not to do that, I often succeed.
I tried to be quiet when I came in, and just putz about doing my usual wind-down routine. And then some little tiny thing annoyed me and I didn't keep my mouth shut about it. Ten minutes later and I know I've stepped out of line. Thirty seconds after that, I'm upstairs on the bed, crying. That moment, right when I realize I've messed up, must be the WORST moment ever. I knew I needed to pick myself up and move on, and was in the process of reaching for the bedroom door to go downstairs, when Syr came in, shutting the door behind Her.
"Are you done wallowing?" She asked and I nodded silently in reply.
"On your knees." She ordered and I looked at Her for just the briefest of moments, puzzled. "Now", She followed up and I did.
"Down." She said as She touched the back of my head, making it clear that I was to go into quiet time position: kneeling, curled over with forehead to the floor and arms stretched out in front of me. I was still close to tears haven just stopped crying moments before and could feel close all over again as I listened to the sound of Her moving to the foot of the bed. Suddenly alarmed I started to sit up to see what She was doing but Syr ordered me back down again.
She pulled my pants and panties down over my hips, exposing my bottom and I whimpered. Having my pants and panties pulled down (but still *on*) in this manner always has a potent effect on me. It makes me feel very humble and contrite as it's something I associate with punishment and this time - even more so.
"It doesn't matter how bad of a day you've had, you are NOT allowed to come home and take it out on me. Am I understood, slave?" my Owner says to me as She delivers four sharp slaps to my bottom.
"Yes, Syr." I replied sofly, tears starting to fall again.
She sat on the bed nearby and said "Come here."
I crawled over, kneeling at Her feet and burying my tear-stained cheeks against Her chest as She held me.
"Now, apologize for your behaviour." She whispered.
"I'm sorry, Syr," I whispered
"Will you be more aware of your behaviour for the remainder of the evening?"
"Yes, Syr." I answered, feeling wholly contained and also - forgiven.
Mere moments later we were chatting away doing our usual after-work thing, and no lingering emotional 'hangover' type effects remained from earlier. As my friend last weekend had described, punishment after a conflict actually provided a great deal of comfort and closure without hours of processing and/or lingering guilt. Instead, I felt firmly in my place - and very aware of my behaviour and able to let my bad mood of the day go.
My Owner and I had a very pleasant evening, afterward.
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