From Syr:
"Can you experience sub space without physical pain?
I think that the term "sub space" is often used to describe the intense physical/emotional sensations brought on by intense BDSM play. Often this is brought on by endorphins, etc. The degree of this experience varies person to person and experience to experience. Though as I've noticed in recent discussions, it seems clear that it's sort of mystified to be something it isn't necessarily, or perhaps demystified into the ordinary.
For myself, my BDSM/kink is inherently psychological/emotional, much more so than physical. And so I find that when I think of subspace, it 'looks' like something else to me than how it's commonly perceived. And so I find myself using other terms to identify my feelings.
Usually, I use the term "little" or "little-space" which is to refer to that soft, floaty, submissive 'feeling', that is sort of like a little bit of goofy-happy mixed with romantic-adoration and absolute lovey-doveyness with my Owner. ;) And that feeling can be brought on a number of ways. It can most definitely be triggered by pain administered at the hands of my Owner - whether a good hard spanking, face-slapping, flogging, clothespins, etc. And, as we discovered not so long ago, also by gentle soft touches - done with a sense of ownership.
Little space is how I describe the feeling of floating in my submission, of surrendering.
There's another term I use for a harsher sensation - and that is "drop". Not drop as in the 'drop' that some submissives describe as a depression after playing (that never seems to happen to me - or not that I'm aware of). But drop as in - the way it feels to plummet quickly/suddenly or intensely into little-space. *purr* "Dropping" is something I associate with the harsher or heavier play. And even that can happen without pain. Often, all it takes is Syr grabbing me suddenly by the hair and growling in my ear.
In all cases that I personally associate with the 'concept' of subspace, I say most DEFINITELY, it can be reached without pain. Of course - pain IS a really neato way to get there. ;)
From Submissive Journal Prompts:
How do you find that gratitude changes your outlook? Does this affect your slavery at all?
I have read of submissives or slaves whose Dominants require that they post a daily gratitude or devotional with regards to their submission or slavery. I think that all around the world, sitting in gratitude is proven to make you feel better about yourself and/or your life, no matter what else is happening.
When I have taken the time to look on my submission or on all my Owner does with a sense of gratitude, I find that it softens me and brings me a sense of peace and contentedness.
“The most fortunate of persons is he who has the most means to satisfy his vagaries.” -Marquis de Sade
First, I had to look up "vagaries" in the dictionary.
(from Dictionary.com: 2. a whimsical, wild, or unusual idea, desire, or action)
Ok. And actually, I think not. I mean sure, if we had the means to satisfy some of our fantasies and desires, that would be an amazing experience. I mean I have visions of long days of bondage and mummification and heavy flogging scenes dancing through my mind. But really, if we had the means to do everything we wanted to do and try everything we wanted to try - all right now - then what is there to grow into, to aspire to? What use is fantasy if you know you can have any fantasy you want? I'd say it'd lose it's luster.
While sometimes I wish we had certain things (a weekend away, more privacy, soundproof bedroom walls, etc) so that we could let go of our inhibitions a little bit more often - I generally find that I am quite grateful for what we do have - and equally grateful for those things that we have to wait to have. Because those will be ever the sweeter for the anticipation.
What personality traits have you found to be the most useful to you in your service?
*blinks* useful personality traits? hahahahahaha
This is a bad night for that question. I've struggled with attitude this evening. ;)
But okay, in all honesty - I'd have to say my sense of self-awareness. Without that, I'd be toast. No - I'd be charcoal. No - I'd be ashes on the wind. Seriously. I have a lot of crap and baggage and just *stuff*. And while that stuff certainly presents a set of VERY unique challenges to my Owner, the saving grace is - that I'm aware of the stuff. I don't deny it or try to pretend it's not there. And therefore - I'm able to work on it, grow, learn, be malleable and be open to true growth and therefore enhance my submission and service.
How important is it to you that you accurately describe yourself or your dynamic? How do you feel about the following quote: “How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.” -Abraham Lincoln
It's very important to me that I portray myself and my relationship honestly. But accurately such as the quote?
If we were describing physical stats -sure - that's easy. We're a relationship of two females, one older than the other, legally married, both who work full time jobs outsidet he home. That's easy.
But the rest of it? Dominant/submissive, Owner/slave, all the ways I think our interactions are powerful and amazing? That's accurate - to us. But who is to say that someone else wouldn't look at our relationship and dynamic and think "Huh... looks like they're just saying it's five legs when it's really four legs and a tail". So is there any way to verify the accuracy of our dynamic? Not really. I mean dominance and submission is really quite subjective. I can look at someone who says they're in an M/s relationship and think - "sooo vanilla" and I can look at someone else who says they're in a vanilla/kink-free relationship and think - "omg, so D/s!" but the only people who can really define it is the people who are in it.
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