Erotic Photography and Exhibitionism

"Explain more about your interest in erotic photography and exhibitionism"

I can thank Fetlife for this topic. Syr was reading my profile and making note of my fetish-list. LOL I hadn't really thought about that, though I suppose there are still things She doesn't know about me.

Erotic Photography

Besides simply looking at erotic photography, there is definitely a part of me that likes being a PART of erotic photography. Most of my favourite pictures of myself are at least a little bit naughty.

It makes sense, really. I really discovered self-confidence through my association with the kink community and lifestyle. It was at kink events where I first saw plus sized girls sexualized and eroticised. It was at kink events when I saw male subs worshipping at the feet of gorgeous plus-sized Dominas. It was at kink events where I felt wanted, desired, appreciated. It was at kink events when I first felt that my size was not a barrier to my ability to provoke arousal in others.

And so, it makes sense that I feel most attractive in erotic or sexually charged photographs. I've never really felt too shy about having naughty pictures of me taken. I've always trusted those I've allowed to take them, but for someone who can be so shy in public, you'd think I'd be darn near phobic of having nude or sexual photos taken of me. But I'm not.

At one time, I actually was being courted a little bit by a plus sized adult website - to be a model. That was a huge ego boost! I still remember reviewing the proof sheet of the photos that my then-Master had submitted to her. It made me feel very proud.

I'm a lot more private and practical about such things today. I don't want identifiable naughty photos of me floating around the web. I'm a lot more cautious. But I still like photos that portray me as a sexual, desirable, girl. And I love feeling like I am the object of someone's desire, enough so that they want pictures of me. Especially dirty pictures. ;)

Exhibitionism

I should really clarify this fetish. I am not at all comfortable being an exhibitionist of my own accord. I don't want to stand up on stage or be noticed because I've chosen to be noticed. I don't like being in the spotlight.

But...

'Forced Exhibitionism' is something else entirely. Within a D/s construct, being put on display at my Owner's will is something completely erotic and thrilling. It objectifies me in a way that is beyond stimulating. It makes me feel as if my Owner is proud of Her property, wants to show Her property off - almost like bragging rights.

When I was new to kink, I only wanted to play in private - i was so shy. But the first time a previous Owner put me up on a St. Andrew's Cross and beat me in public, my opinion changed. There was something so amazing about scening where everyone could see. I was shy and part of me wanted to hide, but another part of me recognized the opportunity to shine, to be a good mirror of my then-Owner's training, and to make Him proud. And so, in spite of my personal shy-ness and in spite of my personal self-consciousness, it gave me a new way to focus on my then-Owner.

While Syr and I do not get many opportunities to play publicly, the few times we have, I have felt that same rush of mixed emotions. Feeling self-conscious and unsure, even scared - and yet thrilled that Syr wanted me to be seen, wanted to put me up where others could see my obedience, and ultimately - was proud of me.

There is definitely, also, an exhibitionist element to wanting to show my submission to my Owner. I always adore an opportunity to kneel at Her feet in public, to wear Her collar and leash, and to truly revel in our dynamic in public. I think that since opportunities for that type of exhibitionism are few and far between - they seem even more intoxicating when they happen.