Body Hair and Self-Image

Syr tasked me with writing about body hair and self-image.

The truth is that I have a lot of self-image concerns and issues. One area where I am particularly self-conscious is with relation to my body hair.

Sure, there's that part of me that thinks - it's just hair, what's the big deal? And really, I suppose it probably wouldn't be AS big of a deal if I felt like I had a choice in the matter. But, here's where it gets complicated: I don't feel like I have a choice.

I'd LOVE to just be baby butt smooth all over. Luckily, I'm blonde - dark blonde - but still blonde, so it could be worse, I suppose. But while I can successfully (thank goodness!) shave my armpits and my legs to just above the knee without a problem, everything above about an inch above the knee is subject to rashes, breakouts, irritated skin, and a number of other not fun side-effects when I shave.

I suppose I could live with having a trimmed, but hairy pussy, but I'm not a fan of having hairy (almost masculine hairy) upper thighs! It really bothers me. I shave that area and I break out.

I have tried a lot of products to help with this. I've researched what causes breakouts and have had a decent amount of success with products like nair, or for a long time, magic shaving powder. I bought special single-blade bump-free razors and special sensitive skin aftershave balms. Everything works - for a short time. The magic powder worked until I developed a sensitivity to it (was even able to have a very smooth pussy!) The bump-free products also worked for a while until I started breaking out, even with them.

I still have one or two tricks up my sleeve, but these involve getting a close "trim" and not a smooth shave. So it LOOKS ok but can feel somewhat scratchy as to get the 'smooth' feel, I get breakout side effects.

Oops, I've digressed into rant mode about what I "want" and this isn't necessarily the point of the assignment.

my Owner points out regularly that having body hair is normal and that I am not the only one with more hair than preferred in the upper thigh (or elsewhere) areas and has even looked up photos online to show me some examples. I think it concerns Her that I sometimes "feel" abnormal because of this, but I think that, logically, I know better.

As long as my Owner is happy with my appearance and grooming, that is all that matters - but I think a huge part of me really struggles with wishing I could get that smooth, naked, vulnerable feeling of being as hairless as possible....

One point that Syr made recently is that She finds the hair more attractive then all the little bumpies and rashes that I get when I give in to the "to hell with it" impulse and go at that area of my body with a razor. This is good to know.

I feel like I'm writing about this but not really resolving anything. I think I just need to work on trusting that it's ok, not allowing myself to wallow in something that is superficial and doesn't matter at all to my Owner, and not letting it get to me so much.