Punishment Vs. Reward

Syr asked me to write about punishment vs. reward in a specific context.

She wanted to hear my thoughts on how the same physical activity (say, a spanking) gets a VERY different reaction out of me if it's a punishment, than it does if it's a reward or for pleasure specifically.

I'm not really sure how to explain it, except to say that for me, most of our dynamic: my submission, and Her Dominance is a psychological thing. It's not about the physical actions nearly as much as it is about the words, the touch, the interactions between us, even something so simple as a look. But it makes sense when you really think about it. It is so easy for Her to drop me with something so simple as a look or a touch, without any words spoken at all, without any obvious aggressive touch.

When I am misbehaving, She will often hook a finger into the sterling silver bracelet I wear on my wrist as a symbol of Her ownership. That action will drop me like a stone every time. It reminds me instantly of who I am. I am Hers.

The same theory can be applied to something such as a "spanking". For most, a spanking makes a poor punishment. After all, many of us are masochists and enjoy such attention, regardless of why it's happening. And yet, psychologically, if She is spanking me because I have broken a rule, messed up, etc, generally I do not enjoy it. I react to it as a punishment. I can say that there are elements of the sensation that are pleasurable, sure but in my head what consumes my thoughts is that I am being punished, and that over-rides much of the pleasure I would feel.

It's no different than any other thing you enjoy. If someone gives it to you because they want to treat you, you enjoy it, you feel good about it. But if the sentiment is different behind the giving, the pleasure is affected as well.

For myself, in my head, it is the physical repercussion of a rule broken, and that is how it "feels" on many many levels.

If I am being honest, I will admit that whether the action itself is reward or punishment, sometimes the 'attention' of the punishment is a positive thing. It reminds me that I am safe, loved, protected. Punishment, just like reward, reminds me that I am owned and cherished, but most of all, it reminds me that I am Hers.