Assignment: About saying "Syr"

My Owner gave me an assignment to write about my bashfulness around calling Her Syr.

To explain...
My Owner and I began our relationship in an environment that allowed for complete privacy. We didn't have to worry about prying eyes or little ears. We had few interruptions. This environment enabled us to have some very simple, basic D/s protocols in place all the time.

For example, I almost always referred to Her as "Syr" when addressing Her.

But, as our relationship developed into one with interruptions, a heck of a lot less privacy, and more mundane concerns - I got pretty shy about it. It's not really a struggle from a respect standpoint. It's like a shyness thing, partially bred of having to be so careful so much of the time. Especially for a while when She was concerned about little ears getting the wrong idea.

I think part of what I struggle with, these days is making the shift from a vanilla form of communication (neccessary for a lot of our day due to privacy issues) to a D/s form of communication without a sudden and jarring drop to facilitate it. If my Owner drops me in the usual ways, then it's not so hard at all. But if I'm having trouble making the transition, I get super shy about saying "Syr".

For years before my Owner... I would get a thrill... a big one about of being ordered or made to address a Dominant properly. I suppose that still has its impact and maybe sometimes I stall (out of habit) for that reason. But I do really think that most of the time it is a headspace transition issue. I seem to have the hardest time when I have been in vanilla or little girl space and am suddenly finding that my Owner wants me in submissive space.

There's a lot of factors, for sure, and I think there is definitely some pro-activity lacking on my part. I don't initiate the shift to D/s space. I think that's got its origin in the same place as the part of me that needs to not initiate or be in control when it comes to sexual play. I just need to know someone else is in charge in those moments.

It's something to think about, for sure. And I'll be doing some more thinking about it.