"Thank You, my Owner" is what I whispered against Her cheek as She pulled me close, my head laying on the front of Her left shoulder, the spot I prefer to sleep, the spot that has the mark of Her ownership of me - the key matching the heart/lock that marks my own skin on the back of my neck.
"You're welcome, little girl" comes Her reply as we began to drift off to sleep, floating in bliss.
Just an hour earlier, we'd been both doing our own thing on our laptops, writing, reading and generally just zoning out. Really, our moods were just not quite lined up. Syr is still shaking off the end of a nasty cold, and I am in this refreshed/recalibrated uber-submissive place, aching for service and submission - and surrender.
She wasn't exactly 'in the mood' and I was sort of... well... desperate. And so I quietly got up and put my computer away and got out the accoutrement that would normally accompany a quick, but hot, romp and just generally was sorta assertive about sending the message that I was REALLY craving Her cock (and a long list of other stuff but I was SO ready to take whatever I could get). ;)
It was actually really ballsy of me. I was setting myself up for some disappointment that can often make me feel a little rejected when I'm in a submissive head space. It was also awfully presumptuous and... really... not that submissive.
But Syr's eyes got this evil lil' twinkle, the kind they get when it's clear She's feeling all kinds of desired, and that it's making Her feel good - so I ran with it. ;)
Lucky me, She decided She wanted to grant me my wish. I'm sure that all the begging didn't hurt. *impish grin*
But I was still craving an intense sensation of surrender... and so I begged Her to allow me to have some floor - time. A request She granted with apparent pleasure as She guided me down until my forehead rested on the floor and placed Her foot heavily on the back of my neck. *purrr*
I was so softened by floor-time that I found myself floating into compliance with every other order She gave until I laid, spread open wide and naked beneath Her as She drove Her huge cock into me, filling me completely in one stroke - claiming me.
She was fully engaged and swept up in the energy exchange clearly flowing between us. She made me wait the longest time before finally granting me permission for an orgasm, and even then - only long after my begging turned to crying. Once permission was granted it was - all encompassing.
I fell asleep, grateful and content.
2 comments:
this was a very arousing post, alena!! i'm so glad that you got what you wanted and needed. :)
i wonder about this idea that asking for what you want isn't submissive. doesn't the request in and of itself make you extremely vulnerable? i mean, you mentioned that the asking does make you feel vulnerable, because she *could* say no. isn't that vulnerability and ultimate control on her part a major component of submission?
i'm not sure of the answer... i guess it is different for each individual person. but i am curious what you feel about that.
Ooooh thank you!! *grins*
I know exactly what you mean. I guess it seems like it is often viewed as unseemly for a submissive-identified person to be so assertive. Heck, sometimes it seems its unseemly for a submissive to even admit that she HAS needs/desires of her own that are not hinged on the pleasure of her Owner/Dominant. ;) It's a stigma for sure.
But the asking certainly didn't SEEM inappropriate at the time. It felt like, even, a type of service. By taking a more assertive role, I absolved her of having to be the one to initiate - which took some of the responsibility off her shoulders. You're also right in that there was most definitely a huge element of vulnerability in the asking - even more so knowing my chances were slim given her mood at the time. I find it easier to ask for things, though, when i KNOW i am in a submissive enough headspace to accept whatever answer (even if it's not the one I want) she gives, gracefully, with a sense of trust. It feels like a my intentions are more honest when I am truly prepared to accept a yes or a no as a response. When I am asking for something and know I'm feeling particularly stubborn and have expectations for a particular reply - then it just feels manipulative.
I often worry far too much about what others will think and I definitely see that coming through in my writing sometimes.
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