Spontaneous Confessions

Syr asked me to post about this little exchange we had this evening because, I think, she takes great pleasure and amusement in my... suffering.

Shocking, huh? ;)

Syr and I have a full disclosure marriage, relationship, friendship, and dynamic. As such, we don't have secrets from each other, period. We've always been that way. It's interesting because it's allowed me a sense of security unlike anything I've ever known. I trust Her more than I have likely trusted any other human being I've ever known.

One of the intersting byproducts of this pure trust and unquestioning full disclosure situation is that I do NOT have the ability to keep anything from Her. At all. In fact, even gifts are hard to keep a secret.

So... let's say I was doing something like one of my bad habits (chewing my nails, as an example), and she suspects that's what I'm doing but can't see me (like she asks from another room).

It goes a little like this, usually and only IF I try to deny it.

"Are you biting your nails, little girl?"

"Um... no?" (yes, with a ? I suck at denials too)

"are you telling me the truth?"

"No" *pout*

And that's the end of that.

However, most of the time, if I've done something bad, I end up confessing it. This amuses Her to some degree, always, because She fully admits it makes her job easier. ;)

But sometimes, it's extra amusing... sort of like this evening:

I was chewing this one spot of my fingernail, and Syr says "stop that!" And I tried to explain that I had this one spot on it that was bothering me. And so She told me to go "take care of it properly". So I headed to the bathroom, which sort of implied I was headed for a fingernail file, or clippers or... something.

Now... the reality is, that my teeth do the job, and I was a little hyper at the time, so I think I knew that I was going to do was go in the bathroom and bite off that little bit that was bugging me, anyway, and halfway down the hall, I raised my finger to my mouth and...

*SCREAM* as Syr was RIGHT behind me and growled: "WHAT are you doing?"

"Meep." came the sound out of me.

So then Syr clued in - that I was going to the bathroom to "take care of it properly" by not taking care of it properly and simply using the opportunity out of sight to bite the offending nailbit off.

She asked me if that was what I intended to do and I just started laughing.

It's important to point out, at this time in the story, that when I am being questioned or under duress, I laugh - inappropriately. Syr knows it (thank goodness) but couldn't help laughing herself in response. Interestingly, the D/s energy between us was still very strong during this exchange.

So I admit that yes that's what I was doing... but I'm laughing and trying not to look at Her and I can feel that verbal spewing of confession bubbling just underneath the surface and I just desperately need to get away from Her at that moment so I don't blurt out something really bad...

And then She says something else, I can't remember exactly what but along the lines of repeating back to me what i was about to do: "So you were about to NOT obey me and instead just use the privacy of the bathroom to chew your nail anyway?"

And then spewed forth the verbal (giggling) duress-filled spontaneous confession: "but that's what I ALWAYS do!"

No... i didn't intend to say it, it just came out. And the horror on my face immediately after it left my lips sent Syr into peals of laughter so intense that she had tears at the corners of her eyes and of course in response to Her laughter, I'm laughing even harder, and we're both laughing and yet throughout the ENTIRE exchange, I am WELL aware that I'm in big trouble, and She is certainly not about to ignore the admission...

So I try to shut myself up because for some reason at that moment, I just knew that somehow I was going to end up saying something else to get myself in trouble.

Syr's amused enough that she decides now is a good time to take advantage of the situation and ask if there was anything else I had to confess.

Thankfully, I don't think there was, because - I really don't keep things from her. The nailbiting bathroom habit thing wasn't exactly something I was doing intentionally or thinking about.

Of course, after this exchange of laughing so hard, I really DID have to use the bathroom!! But, since I was still in big trouble, Syr followed me into the bathroom and almost stayed to watch - and that was a reality check if there ever was one! I've got serious bathroom shyness... I think She made Her point though. No more biting my nails behind closed doors.