Love and Slavery

I wanted to write a little something on love and slavery. It can be hard to verbalize how powerful of a love exists between Syr and I, but I see mirror images of that same powerful love in other M/s-dynamic couples. There is something unique about an Owner/pet, Owner/slave, Master/slave etc kind of relationship that I find hard to explain or describe when it comes to the love aspect.

It is foreign to some people, how one could find such true beauty in being *owned* by another human being, or in *owning* another human being. And yet, it really is not that foreign of a concept. Think of the way a beloved pet (a dog or a cat) must feel? How must it feel to have another being willing to care for you in that way? I look down at the black cat curled around my feet, my beloved pet, and it helps put into context how I feel. Here is this creature, at my feet, who loves and adores me. He comforts me when I'm sad, amuses me when he is at play, and is a delightful companion. He deserves, in return, that I make sure he is well fed, taken care of, nurtured, housed. He deserves to be treated with love and respected as a member of my family. It is humbling to be responsible for another creature in this way. It must feel that way to Syr at times.

And as for me, I look to Syr as I imagine a pet looks to her owner. Syr is there to cherish and protect me. I can not imagine loving Her more than I do. I can not imagine trusting Her more than I do. I have never loved, nor trusted, at this depth before and I am not sure that I ever could again. I literally lay my life at Syr's feet to do with as She wishes. The really amazing thing? She would never do something with it that wasn't in my best interest. I find myself craving pain at Her hands, and more extreme S/M play than I ever have before. I long to feel Her knives against my skin. I crave the pain of Her bite. I want to writhe and whimper, beg and plead for her. All because I know she will never take me further than I am able to go, even if I want to go further. She will always protect me, and always do whatever She can to meet my needs, to fulfill me, and to help me grow.

Though I had a Master before, I never knew the true meaning of belonging to someone else, truly. I blame that partially on His and my, then, polyamorous lifestyle. Nothing against it, I have known many very successful, very happy people in loving polyamorous relationships. But -- it's not me. And I never realized that I could never truly belong to Someone unless I was the only one. Now, I know.

But I know also that this is more intense than that for many reasons, not the least of which is a destined connection between the two of us: something that we both believe in very much.

All I know is that when She looks at me and reminds me that I belong to Her, this incredible gratefulness that She owns me, and this incredible love that is absolutely indescribable.

Our Wedding Vows

I, take you, alena,

to be My own,

to shelter and protect,

respect and cherish,

to guide and to love

in this life and all future lives to come.

I take You, Syr,

to be my own,

to honor and obey,

respect and cherish,

to surrender and to love

in this life,and all future lives to come.