Domestic Service

Syr was reading my blog this evening and pointed out that it seems like all I'm blogging about lately are the hard things.

It's an easy habit to fall into. After all, this journey of submission and slavery - for me - is very much about facing the hard things and growing, not only as my Owner's slave, but as a person. Writing is a very effective outlet for me so I frequently find myself playing out the hard things on my blog. Syr appreciates the effectiveness of the writing - but was, appropriately, concerned that I might look back on the last couple dozen posts and get down on myself for all the difficulties lately.

So I thought I'd add another blog post this evening to discuss some other things that have been going on.

Lately, we have been re-finding our D/s groove. It's been challenging to balance a 24/7 Owner/slave relationship with the lack of privacy that two nearly adult (and now adult!) children in the home causes. When we first got together, the boys were younger (and went to bed early!), but we went through a sudden shift and extreme lack of privacy during their older adult years. Now that they're both adults and really building their own lives outside of the home it is getting easier for us to re-find the rituals and protocols that become wonderful touchstones in our day to day dynamic.

There are many wonderful little rituals that keep me in my place: sleeping in my collar (as long as I've not lost the privilege through bad behaviour...), referring to Her as Syr as often as possible (which is a LOT more often, lately), making Her coffee, the time-outs and devotionals, re-instituting the three-sentence posts (which I now post over on www.butchfemmekink.com), and other little service things.

But, perhaps because of recent growth, and perhaps because I now feel 'ready', what has been on my mind the most the last few weeks is - domestic service.

Domestic service (as in the more intense sort, not my little daily chores), is something that has been pretty iffy for me in the past.

I had some experiences when I was new to BDSM, that exposed me to situations where I thought that domestic service was going to be a hard limit. I served a Domme once in this capacity and found that the amount of pressure put on me (mostly by myself) to be absolutely perfect in every chore was just too overwhelming. Then, my I served a Master whom I could only see part time and because he ran a household with small children and pets, the mess was overwhelming and would have literally taken all my time with him had I been given the task. It became something that I simply communicated to Dominants, up front, that it was not the sort of thing I felt good about.

Yet, oddly, lately... it's been on my mind. It's a bit erotic to think about, which is totally new for me.

A couple of weekends ago, Syr had me vacuuming - just a simple chore. But at one point started spanking my bottom while I vacuumed, ordering me not to stop or get distracted as I completed the task - being followed by Her, spanked by Her while I completed the chore. It was so hot.

But it's not just this little sexy scene that got me thinking about it. We, as a married couple, have lots of mundane responsibilities that need attending to... and Syr, having been a single mother for years in the past, tends to automatically do a lot of the houseworky type of stuff and we both tend to take that for granted because it's just so automatic. But I've found it bothering me a lot lately that She seems to be doing more housework than me! It seems kinda unfair, being that I'm the slavegirl and all.

Actually, it seems REALLY unfair. She likes to cook, so that's one thing. But who likes to scrub out the bathtub? I mean, really? And so if I find out that She's done these sort of things, I feel this weird feeling inside like ... "hey! that's my job!" but...  this has never been a part of our dynamic in the past.

(I can totally picture other slaves erupting in wild guffaws at the idea of a slave NOT doing the majority of the housework but... well.. that HAS been the way of it).

So, it's been on my mind SO much that I broached the subject with Syr today. Partly because it's been all I could think about all weekend long. I found myself actually craving it, but not sure how to ask. I mean, for someone who doesn't love housework (me), it felt a little weird that all I really wanted was to go up to my Owner and ask for a list of chores She'd like me to complete. I wasn't really sure with what to do with this new found sense of duty. And I don't say that to belittle myself in any way. It's just that this is new for me.

Syr admitted that She, too, has been thinking more about domestic service lately.. but She knew my background and the reasons why I've been hesitant in this area and She wasn't willing to press the issue until She felt I was ready. My broaching the subject told Her I was ready. So I think the expectations on me around domestic service will be changing... very soon.

She mentioned perhaps sending me off to clean one room, top to bottom - when the idea strikes Her. I have to say, the idea appealed to me in this totally odd way.

It's late, so I'm not sure I'm wording my thoughts very coherently but there you have it. I swore for many years that I was not cut out to be a domestic slave - and yet - here I am.

I think a large part of that is that my submission to my Owner has been and continues to be a very in depth journey. In many ways, we are both growing into ourselves and our roles in an organic manner. There are things we never dreamed would be part of our dynamic five years ago, but now couldn't imagine being without.  So much has changed and evolved over time, that I suppose I shouldn't be surprised at this latest.

I'm interested to see where this goes...