Sometimes, it's the little things.

Sometimes, it's the little things.

The lessons that help or force you to grow. Sometimes I need to be reminded, to know that I can mess up... that I can dissapoint Her. Sometimes it's helpful to realize that there is a difference between pushing, and taking advantage.

I was right earlier. She would have been okay, had I confessed at the time instead of waiting until the next day. I shouldn't need to be micro-managed, especially by Her, and yet I seem to back us both into a corner where She has to.

My 'lesson' after She read my confession was that today I was to straighten all the rooms in the house and get a couple miscellaneous, smaller, tasks done. Detail work. Atonement.

I didn't sleep well last night, and neither did She. When we woke and I sent Her off to work, I sat down with my coffee at the computer.

Before I knew it, hours had flown by and She was calling me on Her first break, only to discover I had not yet started my chores.

When She admitted She was dissapointed, my heart fell.

There's a difference between pushing and taking advantage. She went 'easy' on me after my confession... and in return I still procrastinated.

For the record, I did get everything done, and did a good job. I just wish I hadn't taken advantage of Her trust by putting the computer first when I was trying to atone for earlier procrastination.

Later on, during Her afternoon break, She assured me as best as She could that what was done was done, but that in the future I can expect to be given time limits or deadlines for my chores.

I admit that I need boundaries, limits... and rules. I like the security of knowing where that invisible line is that I shouldn't cross.

I think I have been craving service these last several days. Perhaps it's because I've been so busy with some necessary work-things that have taken my focus off of what I do here, for Her every day. I need to find that focus again. It can co-exist with the other.

I doubt this post makes any sense. I guess I just wanted to think 'out loud', so to speak.

Syr gets off work in a few minutes, and Her commute is around 45, so I will sign off now so I can get dinner started and have it ready and on the table when She gets home.