New collar!

So my new, self-imposed, daily ritual of reviewing the summary of my slave petition has been very helpful in keeping me mindful.

I am proud to say that I have not, yet, missed a single day of reading it. I have a reminder in both my primary email inbox and on the homepage of my smartphone - both places I look at several times a day making it easy to remember to do it.  It's quick enough, maybe takes 1 minute. And in that single minute, I am instantly reminded of my place - of all that I have and all that my Owner provides to me every single day... and of what I have to offer in return.

My timing for implementing (all on my own!) this new ritual couldn't be better.

My holiday gifts from my Owner are a night away at a hotel.... for some much needed D/s reconnecting time. And, as She surprised me with on Friday night, a new collar of the 24/7 variety.

The physical, worn, representation of my collar has been constantly evolving. Initially, She offered it to me as a silver anklet. But it was too small for my ankle... and too large for a bracelet. So She had it sized down to a bracelet. It was a figaro style, fairly delicate. And over time and wear and tear it started breaking. Syr replaced it with a sturdier silver bracelet and that is the one I have worn long-term. However, I am highly sensitive to nickel. Usually sterling silver is relatively safe, but if I wear something around the clock I develop a sensitivity over time to it. My wrist started reacting so I'd switch wrists. Then that wrist would react and I'd switch back. Then I'd need to take it off entirely for a period of time and switch to a leather bracelet but the clasp on that started to irritate too.

My metal allergies have been a point of frustration, for sure. So this year, for Christmas, Syr was going to replace it with gold and instructed me to do some pricing research so we could go shop boxing day sales. That's when we both realized that a necklace was also an option! We'd just never gone the necklace route because of how it evolved (originally from an anklet).

So, the research began. Aware of the sort of budget we were looking at, I was quickly dismayed to find what we could afford for either a gold necklace or bracelet. And then I was just looking at our wedding rings - made of titanium - a hypoallergenic metal that's never given me trouble - and so I asked Syr if we should consider foregoing gold and looking at titanium instead? The price point was well within my Owner's budget versus the gold which would have been a big budget stretch and probably cause a larger financial stress than Syr would have been prepared for. I KNOW the metal won't cause me any problems, and titanium is both incredibly strong and lightweight so ideal for daily wear. She loved the idea!!

Within an hour after that, we had a necklace picked out and ordered. A simple rope style chain. 100% titanium. And the right length to sit right around my collarbones. Perfect.

I should get it in a couple of weeks... and, if all goes well, BEFORE our trip to the hotel which is booked for the weekend of January 19th. Timely, right?

I'm so excited to be getting a new collar, one that won't cause me any skin issues so that I don't have to take breaks from wearing it!! :-)

And... I'm REALLY looking forward to that weekend away as well. I'm long overdue for a good old fashioned beating. *wink*

P.S. Happy New Year! 2013 is going to be awesome.

How to be more mindful...

I notice that I often only write here when there are Big Lessons™ happening. Well, this is no exception.

I got in an argument with my Owner yesterday. And, as usual, the reason it turned into a full blown argument was because I wouldn't A: stop talking and B: start listening until the damage was done.

One of the things I know I need to work harder on is the way I handle tension and conflict. When I feel panicked or cornered, I tend to talk faster and louder, and listen less - when what I need most is to do the exact opposite, talk less and listen more.

I decided to start doing something to help me remember why this is so important. So I reviewed the Petition for Slavery that I did as an assignment for my Owner this past summer. Reading it through was interesting... it reminded me of two important things...

Just how much my Owner does for me every single day, things I often take for granted.
and...
How much I have to offer, when I am mindful.

So I read it through, and then I created a one page summary of what it contains. First a summary of what Syr offers me. And then a summary of what I have to offer. And finally, in slightly larger font, a summary of the key things for me to focus on each and every day. Reminders. And then I put it in a document on my phone. And in my email. And added it to my daily tasks to read it every day.

I hope I will be consistent because the simple act of reading that every day will be a really wonderful touchstone for me and make it so much easier to be mindful. It's not foolproof... nothing is... and I know I will still make mistakes.

But I have created a tool that will help me be a better me... and that has value. So we'll see where it goes from here.