Monday, November 15, 2010

Long time, no post!

It's been ages since my last post. Okay, I suppose a couple of weeks isn't ages, but it sure feels like it. Things with my Owner are very good, but there have been some difficult days in the last couple of weeks. This time of year tends to mess with my head a lot, thanks to lots of family 'baggage' from my childhood (yay! /sarcasm). Anyway, apparently at this time of year, like clockwork, I start picking silly fights with Syr, which is really counterproductive and just generally sucky for both of us.

Syr is, understandably, low on patience for this behaviour and I end up feeling really guilty when I subconsciously seek my emotional release in this manner. Thankfully, we had one bad day, one semi-bad day, and one mildly annoying day and that seems to have ended this year's streak. Two big things I'm working on are first, listening really really carefully (not just 'hearing' but really listening), and stopping when told to as Syr only tells me to stop or calls a halt to a conversation when it's in an unhealthy place. She never ever silences me or my opinions unless there is something dysfunctional going on - and I can always see that *after the fact* so I'm working on trusting more in the moment so I can remember that when I'm in full-on rant mode (or whatever the case may be).

So far, it seems to be working and even though I've had some fairly intense emotional days, they haven't resulted in picking any fights (at least not successfully) and so peace is maintained and we are both happier and healthier. Today is a rough day thanks to triggers but none of that is bleeding out in unhealthy or snarky behaviour - so I'm proud of that.

Sometimes it's the little successes that make the biggest difference.

2 comments:

Kelly A Egan said...

Hi,

I've been reading your blog for awhile now, and I keep meaning to leave you a message to tell you how much I enjoy it. I have a girl who I see a lot of you in, and having her read your words has really helped her understand herself a lot more.

So thank you, for always being so wonderfully honest. I'm very glad I stumbled upon your blog and that you let people read such a beautiful and intimate part of who you are. <3

alena said...

You are most welcome! Thank you so much for posting! I love to hear from people who read here. I appreciate knowing that my words are seen.... it's part of what I find so wonderful about the writing and sharing in the first place.