Lazy Service

So apparently the holidays breed laziness. My service and protocols have absolutely slipped over the last couple of weeks. Writing? Bad. Protocols? Spotty. Chores? Inconsistent. Service mindset? MIA.

A new year and a new opportunity to refocus on my schedules and rituals.

Today that means catching up on laundry, the vacuuming, and steam mopping the floors. It also means (as you is clearly obvious) - writing.

I don't feel ashamed of myself - because beating myself up about stuff like this usually leads to overcompensating which leads to intensity which leads to making Syr unhappy/cranky/frustrated. Rather, I think I am just feeling "noticing". I'm noticing that some things have slipped. I think that's good. And mature. And healthy.

SO, in that way - we're all good. And on that note, I better get to work. <3

Cold fridge attitude adjustment

I greeted Syr today...

Kneeling.

Topless.

Holding one of the collars I can wear in the privacy of our home.

Syr seemed to like that.

Later, as I helped Her put away groceries and prep for dinner, She decided She wanted to press my back against the stainless steel of the fridge.

Being that I've been practicing Yoga for almost 15+ years, I'm pretty flexible so my butt was against the fridge but I was backbending like crazy to keep the majority of my back against the fridge...

Then I started to feel a little smug about said flexibility.

So She looked me in the eye and made it clear that bratty time was over. So I let my back get pressed against the fridge, squealing from the cold while Syr pinned my wrists over my head.

Then She chuckled....

And turned me around and pressed my WHOLE FRONT against the fridge. Which, She explained, was because I'd tried to avoid getting my back pressed against it. After a few very contrite apologies, She let me back away from the cold metal.

Lesson learned.

Submissive Advent - Day 1

I signed up to receive the daily advent emails from Luna at Submissive Guide this year. I thought it would be fun to see what kind of prompts/activities come up since I am focusing on my submission as it is.

Today's activity is to extract two lines from Shakespeare's Sonnet 57 that speak to me and reflect upon them throughout the month as mantra.

Being your slave what should I do but tend

Upon the hours, and times of your desire?

I have no precious time at all to spend;

Nor services to do, till you require.

Nor dare I chide the world without end hour,

Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,

Nor think the bitterness of absence sour,

When you have bid your servant once adieu;

Nor dare I question with my jealous thought

Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,

But, like a sad slave, stay and think of nought

Save, where you are, how happy you make those.

So true a fool is love, that in your will,

Though you do anything, he thinks no ill.

I will be honest and say that while the sonnet as a whole spoke to me sweetly, However, when trying to decide which lines to extract that felt personally meaningful to me, I had a hard time. So I'm going to extract two parts and write about what they make me think/feel. I'll reflect upon them a bit throughout the month but they're not quite right for me to use as mantra.

I decided on this part:
Being your slave what should I do but tend
Upon the hours, and times of your desire? 

This speaks to the idea that I was discussing with Syr not that long ago that I'd stumbled upon through someone else's writing - that one shouldn't spend more than $20 or 20 minutes on an activity intended to be of service without first finding out if that activity is truly making one's Owner's life better (IE is something that Owner wants). Good point. Sometimes I have wasted hours agonizing over things that I want to do to make Syr's life better that Syr could care less about - which ultimately means that time is wasted (from a service perspective). So I'm trying to pay attention - to what She actually wants/needs or check in if I'm not sure.

And this one:
I have no precious time at all to spend;
Nor services to do, till you require.

I think this speaks to priorities. If I am engrossed in something that I'm doing and Syr asks something of me - to make Her a tea or take the dogs out or whatever. She is not interrupting me. Rather, any other activity I'm doing is simply intended to fill space between when I am needed. That's what this line makes me think of. But not in a bad totally focused on Her to unhealthy (for me) levels - in a, "hey, remember your place when your Owner requires your services or attentions" kind of way. Sometimes I'll feel momentarily disgruntled if I'm interrupted or if something doesn't go according to the "plan" in my mind. If I remember that 1st priority is service (in the day to day activities category) and 2nd category is random internet or video games or tv or reading or whatever - then I get better as a slave.